Monday, October 29, 2012

For My Dog

I've heard them say a dog is man's best friend
And so, with time, I've found this to be true
It's sad, though, how their lives are quick to end;
They leave you without time to say "adieu"

A dog will spend its short and happy life
Attached to you and always by your side
A manic ball who's void of any strife
To be with you's their greatest source of pride

And though they'll make a mess from time to time
And test you at your every move and turn,
To have a dog is really so sublime
Their lives are gifts, I've come about to learn

And so to all our memories I'll clutch;
I miss my doggie very very much

In Memory of Simi
???? - October 13, 2012

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Sonnet for a Bunch of Cocksuckers

My friends, they are, I'm quite afraid to say
A crude and vile deviant band of fools,
And if they have the chance a given day
They'll make a quip about their morning stools

But yet their dark perversion does not cease
At simply making poop-related jokes;
Their rich imaginations can release
A strange erotic scene de Sade evokes

Yet even in my state of pure disgust
I take a pause so that I can reflect
For even though they speak of shit and lust
Their company I never can reject

I too, am quite depraved, and that's the crux
And thus, all of my friends are filthy fucks

Monday, October 8, 2012

Microwavable Scottish Meat Pies

My friend ate some questionable grub
Then went out and hit up the club
The meat, though, was spoiled
His stomach, it boiled;
He's now puking into a tub

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

On the Recitation of Greek Tragedy

There once was a man from Duluth
Whose habits were rather uncouth
He'd whip out his testes
Recite from Orestes
And sip on a glass of vermouth