Tuesday, February 28, 2012

On Docking

How long do men usually dock?
Is it standard to set up a clock?
Can they watch some TV
Or go brew up some tea
While the skins of their cocks interlock?

Monday, February 20, 2012

The Way of the Samurai

What has wind-power like a typhoon,
And a sound like a stuffy bassoon?
It's a samurai fart!
Here, depicted in art,
Joyous garlands of farts are festooned

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Dangers of Polygyny

When going 'round casting your pole
Into more than just one fishing hole
You're bound to make waves
Chasing that which you crave
And it takes an emotional toll

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Don't Pee on the Fucking Toilet Seat

Why is it that people piss
Upon the toilet seat?
Is aiming at the bowl itself
A Herculean feat?

Or why not lift the seat up?
That's the reason for the hinge - 
But no, I have to mop up pee,
A task that makes me cringe

I hate it when those golden drops
Pollute the place I sit
It makes me feel disgusting
When I go to take a shit

If you don't have the courtesy
To keep the toilet clean,
I'll hunt you down and find you,
And I'll sever off your peen

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Hash Den

Any time of any day
It smells like weed in my hallway

My downstairs neighbors smoke a lot - 
Not tobacco, only pot

Their living quarters are a sauna
Filled with acrid marijuana

And when I see them pass me by,
Their sideways glance suggests they're high