Saturday, December 31, 2011

Wish, Swish, Fish, Dish

A couple goofy friends we were
A-fishing we did go
We planned to catch a million fish
And bring them back to show

Our family and friends we're not
As wimpy as we seem
(Never did we really think
We would fulfill our dream)

We drove way out to Montauk Point
And bought a bunch of beer
Our drunken fishing trip would be
The story of the year

To the ocean we embarked
To go and seal our fate
Charlie was our captain's name
And Stunt-Cock, our first mate

We sailed a little way from shore
And there we cast our line
We quickly learned that catching fish
Would take a little time

But Ronni was the first to feel
A nibble from the sea
She set about to reel it in,
A project it would be

When finally it flopped on board
We got to take a look
Upon the creature first to be
Enticed onto our hook

We celebrated heartily
And drank a round of beer
And cast our lines back to the sea,
Success, we knew, was near

It wasn't long at all before
Another fish was caught
One by Gio this time 'round,
Discouraged, we were not

Gio reeled the fish in first,
Then Stunt-Cock slit its throat,
And cast the bleeding fish into
The hull under our boat

And then we hit a span of time
When not a fish would bite
We sat and soaked the perfect day -
The weather, a delight

The sky was clear, the sea was blue,
The lighthouse to the west,
A gentle breeze was blowing through
The hair upon my chest

Then suddenly I felt
A little snag upon my line
I hunkered down into my seat
To reel on in that swine

And as I just begin my battle,
Noah lets a cry -
It seems that he had caught a fish at
The same time as I!

The two of us, we took our seats
And started in our fight - 
It seemed that reeling in these fish
Was gonna take all night

Yet soon enough our fish were caught
And brought onto our boat
And even though they're decent sized,
They weren't worth the gloat - 

'Cuz scrawny little Andrew
Caught the biggest fuckin' bass
The thing was huge, It could have kicked
The other fish's ass

Initially, it started out
quite like the standard fare
But after struggling we deduced
A monster was out there

The fish was fighting crazily
While tugging to and fro
But Andrew's nerve was steely,
It was quite the bold tableau

The epic fight 'tween man and fish
Was playing out full force
But man was soon to triumph,
It was just matter of course

And when that giant fish did breech
The surface of the sea,
We all began to cheer aloud,
A conquest it would be

Andrew finally reeled it in
And Stunt-Cock held it high
It truly was a mammoth fish,
Nobody could deny

Andrew was exhausted,
And collapsed upon a bench
We fetched him quick an ice-cold beer
We thought his thirst we'd quench

But yet that left one lonely fishless
Friend upon our boat
To catching fish, the rest of David's
Time he would devote

But even as high spirited
As Dave could truly be,
It didn't seem like any fish
Would come out from the sea

Then Ronni caught another fish;
A total freak event!
But sadly this had only caused
Poor David to lament

The night was drawing ever near
The sun was setting fast,
We looked under the deck to see
The fish we had amassed

But then we heard a shriek of joy,
A squeal of pure delight
Dave had finally caught a fish,
His mission for the night

So all of us now having caught
More bass than we could eat
Rejoiced and drank a swig of beer
To celebrate our feat

Charlie turned the boat around
And headed back to shore
As captively we watched the sun sink
'Till it was no more

And in the orange twilight
Of our Montauk fishing day
We watched our first mate Stunt-Cock
Turn our fish into fillet

We piled all into the cars
And headed back towards home
Bringing to a quiet end
This half-baked fishing poem

A couple goofy friends we were
A-fishing we had went
A grand time had by all on our
July the Third event